You can’t pour from an empty cup

At the peak of the second wave in late April 30yearold Ankita Kumar a travel influencer who was volunteering for Covid19 relief work would start her day by responding to SOS messages for oxygen hospital beds and plasma donation By the end of the day however she would be looking for crematoriums ldquoInitially I would break down after hearing that someone I was trying to help didnrsquot make it But after a few days of this happening constantly I started feeling nothing at all I couldnrsquot compute the griefrdquo shares the Bengaluru resident adding that she also felt that nothing gave her pleasure and experienced a loss of appetite and acute exhaustion for two weeksKumar isnrsquot alone Hundreds of relief volunteers and caregivers of different kinds have been displaying similar symptoms in the wake of the pandemic and it has a name compassion fatigue Citybased clinical psychologist counsellor and psychotherapist Priyanka Varma explains that compassion fatigue is an extreme amount of distress that one experiences out of constantly caring for another Itrsquos also called vicarious trauma or secondary trauma adds the founder of The Thought Co a wellness studioVarma notes that compassion fatigue is not new however ldquoItrsquos often observed among individuals who are in the caring profession such as doctors nurses social workers mentalhealth professionals or caregivers and individuals who experience a high level of empathy Itrsquos also noted among those who work with victims of abuse or natural disasters and caregivers of people with dementia and cancerrdquo she elaborates The number of people reporting this phenomenon has increased now as nearly everyone is a caregiver with no end date in sight she addsNote the symptomsKumar tells us that it was a scary time for her when she was experiencing the symptoms ldquoI couldnrsquot sleep I began wondering what was wrong with me It was only when I attended a support group for volunteers that I realised Irsquom not alone A counsellor told us we were experiencing compassion fatigue It was a relief to know that all these feelings had a namerdquo she revealsExercise and cooking are efficient selfcare practicesAmrita Patil Pimpale founder Echoing Healthy Ageing a social enterprise working with Mumbairsquos senior citizens shares that shersquos noticed that compassion fatigue leads to guilt of not doing enough and extreme lack of selfcare Pimpale whorsquos been running a support group for caregivers of dementia patients along with Holy Family Hospital Bandra for five years adds ldquoYou isolate yourself because you feel you only need to be with your loved one Slowly you feel burdened In cases like Alzheimerrsquos or dementia since the patient canrsquot recognise your efforts you feel unappreciated During Covid19 a lot of caregivers felt an increased need to protect their loved ones So they stopped getting help from outside further burdening themselvesrdquoAmrita Patil PimpaleVarma explains that while symptoms of burnout and compassion fatigue may appear similar the primary difference is that in case of the former one experiences a strain while caring for another person while in the latter one feels drained from everyday stressors These are some of the common signsgtgtNumbness hopelessness mental and physical exhaustion disturbed sleep nightmares and headachesgtgtIrregular bowel movement stomach upset and decreased or increased appetitegtgtDiminished sense of purpose feeling disconnected and difficulty maintaining relationships gtgtA key symptom is difficulty in caring for oneselfgtgtFeeling burdened by the suffering of others blaming others for their suffering experiencing a lack of pleasure difficulty in concentrating and expressing emotions use of drugs or intoxicants and a denial of onersquos mental sufferingPriyanka Varma and Ankita KumarCheck in with yourselfPimpale shares that support groups for caregivers are an excellent way to seek help and affirm that one is not alone ldquoFor instance the focus of our support group is not only on managing symptoms of dementia but also how caregivers need to take care of themselves This happens through advice from a psychiatrist and therapist as well as help from other caregiversrdquo she illustratesVarma suggests compassion fatigue can lead to reduced quality of care provided by the caregiver because of their own struggle So one must fill up their tank of selfcare first gtgtCheck in with yourself dailygtgtPractise mindfulness through activities like cleaning or cooking The key is to be fully engaged in the moment Journaling is also catharticgtgtDo basic exercises they release endorphins that are a stressbuster and help you power through difficult situationslsquoCan only do so muchrsquoIndrani Bose 66 a Kanjurmarg resident who has been taking care of her late inlaws and father and now her mother for over 30 years identifies with some of the symptoms of compassion fatigueThe pandemic she adds has worsened the anxiety ldquoIrsquove had instances of panic attacks which led to difficulty in sleeping irritability and at times feeling like a hypochondriac Fortunately I can recognise these as aberrations to my nature so I keep myself busy with activitiesrdquo She wants to create a bubble for her mother as a caregiver ldquoBut having gone through this thrice I know my capability is limited I have to do only that which I can sustainrdquoFinding supportgtgtEchoing Healthy Ageing runs a free support group for caregivers of dementia and Alzheimerrsquos patientsLog on to echoinghealthyageingcomgtgtReach out to Caregiver Saathi for a host of resources including podcasts articles workshops and counsellingLog on to caregiversaathicoinAlso Read Mumbai Bollywood biggies open their purses for pandemic relief